Warning: I love Jesus, but I cuss a little.
Everyone has days where they hate their jobs. It's inevitable. I'm a stay at home mom, and today, I hate my job. When people ask what I do for a living and I tell them, they get a dreamy look in their eyes and say something along the lines of, "Oh, that must be such bliss. You have the most important job in the world." I'm calling bullshit.
A few days ago, my middle child threw up. Then she threw up again. Sunday night, her brother started throwing up. Yesterday, I spent the day throwing up. Today, the oldest clenched her stomach and wailed about how she, too, needed to throw up. On top of that, the youngest now has forest green diarrhea shooting from his butt every half hour. Of course, being cooped up brought out the demons in my babies, and they spent the day relentlessly picking on each other, and I spent the day screaming at them because I am too pooped out to be rational. I'm feeling anything but blissful and important. I'm feeling resentful, grossed out, and tired.
Now, as I soothe my scream-sore throat with a little bit of whiskey, I am pondering motherhood. I have several friends who have had their first babies in the last several weeks. It's with no great amount of pride that I admit to rolling my eyes with every precious status update and picture they post about how in love they are with their baby and how perfect life is. I have to almost physically restrain myself from posting dripping sarcasm all over their pages about how hard it's going to get. It's like when you've been married for a while and you go to a wedding and the bride and groom are all googly-eyed. You want to laugh derisively, knowing all the crap that lies ahead and how clueless they are to real life.
Oh, how dumb are the newbies, and I can say that because I was once a dumb newbie myself. I really think that birds have the right idea. When they get sick of their kids, they just shove them out of the nest. Today, I was ready to shove all of them out. Instead, I'm opting for whiskey and ridiculously early bed times.
Here's hoping for a better tomorrow, shit free and blissful.
Yes, that's me at every wedding. I'm happy for the couple but usually have to leave after cake so I don't start spouting out my unhelpful advice. It needs to stay in my head at their joyous occasion. I'll just sit at my table and giggle at their repeated vows of "never taking each other for granted." Eye roll #5. Maybe next time I'll excuse myself with having "facial tics".
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