Offspring are participating in an unauthorized session of Rapid Body Liquid Ejection. Day 4, and their rebellion continues. They seem to be in an alternating pattern so I can't learn their routine. Any one of them could explode at any time, and I am helpless to stop it.
The new washing machine is being tested frequently. I am happy to report that it is standing up to the task of purifying all clothing and linens that come into contact with the body liquids. Its cheerful medley announcing the end of its cycle is a pleasant diversion in an otherwise bleak house. I am happy with this machine.
Equally satisfying in its performance is the carpet steam cleaner. Deciding to purchase one when the crew moved to a bigger home was very wise on the part of myself and the Commander. What would otherwise be hours of scrubbing on my hands and knees has been reduced to merely pushing and pulling while in a comfortable standing position. Carpets are still intact. Rooms are fresh.
This participation in the RBLE has proven one thing: the offspring are all, indeed, human. While suffering from nausea, exhaustion, dehydration, and general cabin fever, they have all displayed very passionate, albeit very unpleasant, emotions which an android could not possess. This alleviates my fears that they are cyborgs who will rise up in their sleep and kill me.
I eagerly await relief from Commander Beckwith who is at his central command procuring funds for this mission. I fear we may be close to mutiny, and I don't know how much longer I can contain the offspring. My mission, for now, is to remain still and hope they do not see me, for if they do, things could get ugly.
Signing off.
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